TLDR: I came across this snarky blog, and I asked the author if she wouldn’t mind writing a guest post for me. Since I have not been single for quite some time, and I would not like to assume all my readers are married, I thought my own blog could use a different voice. The views expressed are those of the author.
Recently my sister announced her engagement.
My little sister.
And I am so happy for her.
But, now that my younger siblings are getting married, and I’m not, come the looks, the questions, the judgements.
“So…you’re still single?”
I started this post a little bit ago. And the rough draft looked like this:
“After several months of a dating hiatus, I decided to finally try again.Trying multiple different revenues and platforms for meeting men, I have been on some dates and I have to say that I feel inspired by my recent experiences.So inspired that I did something tonight I haven’t done in years.
I wrote a poem.
Now I know poems are sappy and stupid, but I really put my soul into this one.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Boys are garbage
The end. “
**image edited to maintain PG status. Brought to you by VidAngel.
I did that.
Faintly reminiscent of 500 Days of Summer, I decided I should probably do some reevaluating.
I’ve been thinking a lot about where I’m at. I’m thinking, what is wrong with me that my sister can graduate high school and find her husband in less than a year, and here I am 5 years later, no less single, but much more sass.
So I’m still single.
I’ve been single the majority of my life, but that doesn’t necessarily bother me.
At least it hadn’t. Until recently.
You see, being single is my comfort zone.
And of course I’ve stepped out of that comfort zone a time or two, but I tend to just keep coming back to it.
Just like my bed.
It’s warm and comfortable, and I leave it when I must. But there it is, right where I left it, every time I come back. Just waiting for me to slip back inside the covers and bundle up. Bed is always welcoming, and I’m content laying there.
I tend to think, “better to kick it in my comfort zone than to be Elle Woods: post breakup”
Yeah. We’ve all been there. Don’t even pretend.
Anyone who has ever dated has, at one point or another, thought that the whole idea is archaic and insane. And we’ve all sworn that we would be single forever and it would be fine.
Being single is good.
Because we need to be single. We need to be happy being single. After all, if you’re not happy alone, how will you make someone else happy when you are with them?
When you are single, you get to experience life in a different way. You can hop on a plane at a moment’s notice and spend a month in Rome.
You can recycle the same outfit 3 days in a row because you work and go to class on alternating days–not to mention that said outfit is your pajamas. So really, you just haven’t changed since Monday. Adulting, amIright?
There’s no obligation not to go dance the night away with your squad.
Additionally no one judges you if you choose to stay in on a Friday night and eat your weight in tacos while watching the entire season of Stranger Things on Netlfix. Because no one knows because no one asked you out for that night. It’s fine. This is fine.
No one knows if you don’t shave your legs for the span of the winter, because ain’t nobody touching them. Suddenly, the argument men use to grow out their beards to keep their faces warm when it’s cold makes all kinds of sense.
Or maybe you enjoy shaving. Idk I don’t know who you even are.
And you are just you.
You do what makes you happy, and you’re selfish. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing, because you are taking care of you.
You are trying new hobbies to discover where your passion lies. You get to find what drives you and commit your whole heart to doing that.
Choose who you want to be.
Work on eliminating the qualities that you don’t like about yourself, and do your best to illuminate the qualities that you love.
You don’t have anyone telling you or expecting you to be anything. You simply just are–living for you, helping other people, being a good friend, discovering your potential.
The more you know yourself, the greater capacity you’ll have to know someone else.
The better you love yourself, the easier you’ll know how to love a partner.
Serve more. Help another person in need. Connect on levels, with people, you may not have been able to meet or know if you were in a relationship.
Be happy alone.
But don’t resign yourself to being that way indefinitely.
Because one day, you’ll turn the corner, and you’ll see someone. And they will change your life forever.
Suddenly, the nights spent worrying, the tears shed, and the vengeance you’ve sworn won’t matter anymore.
(I mean, I’m assuming, since it hasn’t happened to me yet.)
Why are we constantly defining ourselves by our relationship status?
I am reasonably confident that your current state is just temporary, if that’s what you want. You’ll find someone.
In the meantime, do everything you can to be someone worth finding.
Be the person you want to find.
So you’re still single.
So are Brangelina.
Take the time to be the best freaking single human that you can be.
Besides, some of us need all the practice we can get to convince other people that we are actually sane and why they should tolerate us…before we show that inside, we are actually Harley Quinn.